


not real

by orphan_account



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Borderline Personality Disorder, Dissociation, M/M, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-23
Updated: 2016-10-23
Packaged: 2018-08-24 07:16:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8362738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Patrick dissociates. Pete's there for him.





	

Patrick feels fuzzy. It's a weird way of putting it, but he doesn't feel real. He doesn't feel like he's in his own body. Before he got diagnosed, he'd think it was purely dysphoria, but he knows it's a 'scarier' symptom: dissociation.

He doesn't even notice his fingernails digging into his legs or how Pete comes from the kitchen with a bowl of cereal, how he leaves the bowl in the table as soon as he sees Patrick so tense, so shaken up.

"Lunchbox?" he calls, and Patrick looks at him. He looks gone, tired out. His eyes lack life and his fingernails are still digging into his jeans. "What's wrong?"

"Not..." he breathes, the words hardly coming out his lips. "Not my body," he asnwers, dumbly in his opinion. He doesn't look at his boyfriend. Pete looks at him, knowing, knowing what he means. "Not real," he adds, doubtfully.

"You're real, Trick, and this is your body," he says, motioning his hands around Patrick, knowing not to touch him, as it could set him off even worse. "You can hear me. You can hear the birds outside." Patrick nods, takes a few breaths, trying to calm down. "You can feel your jeans, your face."

Patrick feels tears prick at his eyes. His binder hurts, making him painfully aware that this is not his body. He's probably had it on for more than eight hours. He stops digging his nails on his jeans and looks up to Pete, who raises the corner of his lips the slightest bit.

"Real," Patrick whispers.

"Yes, very good," Pete says back, passing his hand through Patrick's hair, and Patrick flinches only slightly. "Real, very real." He doesn't mind doing this almost everyday, calming Patrick down and helping him when he's dissociating.

"My body," Patrick says.

"Yes, yours."

Patrick sighs and closes his eyes, takes a few deep breaths like he's been taught, by Pete and by his therapist. Pete looks at him, a silent question on his eyes, and Patrick nods before Pete kisses him sweetly.

"That was also real," Pete adds when he pulls away.

They both grin, Patrick's a bit weaker than Pete's. But a grin nonetheless. 


End file.
